Month 33

I've been spending the weekend retightening my hair. I'm realizing at about 5 weeks, I have to get hook and clip tool in gear to retighten. When I'm finished I hope to do a nice roller set. I'm really curious to see what it will look like. Puffy sides always reveal it's time for a retightening. Also, no parts in my scalp (except on top) is another major indicator. I always start off good on the right side and then get lazy heading around the back to the left side. Hopefully I won't drag my feet. I don't know how I overlooked this feature with picture pile, but in Picasa, if you choose picture pile collage, you can click on the pictures and they move around. You can also add a picture (random) from the collage as the background. Cool!!
Added 9-3-06
Here's more pictures. Just click on the thumbnail and it will enlarge.
I rolled my hair this morning on perm rollers and will see what the results of that look like with 33 month old locks. I'm pretty excited about my growth and progress. This has been fun!

A MUST SEE Video!

OK, one of my dear line sisters sent me a forward a day or so ago and although it was a forward which I usually don't open from folks, I knew she had to be sending me something intentionally. It was. Well, in case you haven't seen this video, please click on the link to A Girl Like Me.

Now, some of you may have seen this, and some of you perhaps have not. I still have a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach from watching what I only feared was true. This young lady, who's only 16 yrs old filmed this mini-documentary about black girls and beauty. I have to gather myself before I respond totally to what I saw. It hurt and stung at the same time. I've been there, done that in more ways than I care to remember or recall. But...if we tell our black selves the truth, we know it's REAL. I thank God for everyone who's telling their story in their blogs, because the more sistahs share what they have gone through and how free they are since releasing themselves to love their natural selves, the better!!! This is reason enough for anyone who's made the transition to write about it and share it with the world.

Here's another link on Mahagohny Butterfly called Fighting For Our Joy, which has photos and a forum for discussion about self-esteem in black girls.

May we continue to pray for natural black beauty and self love.

Maryee

Heat written 7-18-06

Heat
It’s 105 today 2pm
The sun blinds my eyes and I don’t want to look up
The thought of moving into it’s rays sucks the very life out of me
Inhaling is like depositing a cake to be baked into a 350 degree oven
Exhaling is like blowing out candles on Grandpa’s 95th Birthday cake
The ten minute drive home seems to take an eternity
And this invisible wildfire puts my mind in a state of emergency.
Heat 2:20pm
I drive my dad’s car cause mine is broken. Something about a wire
That keeps draining the battery and the car just won’t start anymore.
His car is a stick shift. I still remember how to drive. Smooth as butter.
So I drop by and see my niece and we sit a minute too long in the car while it’s idling.
The radiator immediately overheats and my black polyester skirt and top
With black-heeled mules didn’t plan for all this and I think I might be
pushing this clunker off the side of the road when the fan belt finally snaps.
Pissssssssssshhh! The air conditioner busts and I race into a panic believing I might die of suffocation with the driver’s seat window broken. I can’t even roll it down. I call Dad and he gives me solutions.
And then he tells me the gas gauge is broken, as well. So half full, really means empty.
Did I mention it’s now 106 today? Heat 3:00pm
Sprinklers jutting out from the lawn of the house across the street from the laundry mat on Bellmead Drive splash a healthy amount of water on the thirsty concrete. And the sidewalk is thankful. A dozen black birds find recourse with the nearest live oak trees. Cause you know black attracts heat. I then take a deep plunge in to the sky blue pool to find a quenching cool; well, only in my thoughts.

Heat 3:19pm
Sizzling
Burning
Bronzing
Churning
Scarching Marching
Heat 3:27pm
Frying in a pan
Dying to get a break
Sweat browing
Flinging drips and drops from my drenched forehead
Beating pounding
Dirt drying hard and crusty on the ground
And I feel as if the air don’t care
Choking me out
And I hope and pray tomorrow will be a much cooler day


The one I ordered was Sugar Free Blue Coconut. Umm Umm Good!
Hosted on Fotki

Who influences who the most? Men or Women?

I was lurking in Lovinlocs yahoo group and saw a discussion about who influences who where women were concerned. The question came from brother Tai, a blogging and fotki friend who's sported natural dreads for over a decade. Here's what Tai said:

ok, i'll put it out there. i'd really like to hear from the sistas
honestly, H-O-N-E-S-T-L-Y!

besides yourself, whom are u most concerned with such things as
personal appearance and hair styles? i'm not speaking on the "i'm
going out and wanna look good" tip. i'm talking about who says what
to u, and how much meaning or influence does it have on u, for u.

i made the point earlier that it seemed women were more influenced by
their female family/friends/co-workers, etc. and therefore i believe
women do play a much larger role on them and their decisions
regarding appearances than men. conversely, men do NOT seem to be as
tied to each other, eg., i don't care or give much thought to what my
boys think of my hair, clothing etc....i do what i want to do, and
they do what they want to do. i will say tho that i DO care what
women/sistas think about my appearance, and so will most other men
admit as well.

so, sistas, enlighten a brotha.....

or, for the male members out there, feel free to chime in as well.

peace

This was my answer:

Hey Tai,

Just droppin' in from lurkmode for a moment to respond to your
question. IMHO, women and girls alike become more concerned about
their appearance from other women because that's who we are around
mostly. Girls look at their mothers, sisters, cousins, and friends
and a natural comparison starts taking place. It gets bad when
boasting about what "who" has becomes an issue to the one who "has
not". That sense of belonging starts at an early age and for some
never goes away.

Another thing is we are always trying to "fit" in whether we admit it
or not or realize it is happening unconsciencely. I've had most all
of my boyfriends just "love" whatever I did to my hair in the past. I
think when we look neat and cute, it really doesn't matter what we
come up with...as long as it's neat and cute...or sexy for that
matter. Guys love a woman who takes care of herself. They just
haven't been exposed to enough women taking taking care of themselves
in a more natural way, especially when it comes to hair. I'm not in a
relationship now, but I know if I were in one, the brother probably
wouldn't be able to keep his hands out of my hair. It contagious!! (LOL)

As an adult, more drama about my hair came from female friends and
family members than males (with the exception of my dad). But I will
say that I hung out with a few natural sistahs, and one in particular
cut all her long permed hair off and went natural while we were in
collage. Making that bold statement was hard for her at first, but
her true essence rose and pretention started to diminish. She started
asking herself the hard questions we women avoid about natural beauty
and hung around to get some answers from herself and her spirit.
Going natural changed her and set her apart from everyone else trying
to "look" the part to "fit" in. Now she had a strong influence in her
life which was her older sister, who sported a fade for years. Today
they both have fades, both are happily married, with children, and
working in banking and education.

Their mother has worn her hair relaxed for as long as I've known her. I can
only guess she probably has made her feelings known to her daughters, but to their advantage, she raised strong black women who weren't afraid to color outside the lines.

My sister and I are both locked and coming home to Texas (Central)
where we have to drive to Dallas (1 1/2 hrs) to get our hair
maintained has been quite interesting. We are strong and could care
less about what anyone has to say about our hair. She wore dreads for
10 years. I on the other hand had issues with not wanting to embrace
my "natural" me and it took longer to erase those negative tapes in my
head about me, my appearance and my hair. But thank God, I's FREE
now! All LOCKED UP, but FREE.

Maryee

And lastly, here's his response to my response:

hi mary, and thanks for an excellent response to my
question, and i appreciate it. a few things i wanted
to say in response is u where u said:

"women and girls alike become more concerned about
their appearance from other women because that's who
we are around mostly"

but that's the same way it is with men too, we spend
alot of OUR time around each other as well. and yet,
it's u lovely SISTAS that we are concerned with in
ALOT of our dressing/appearance behaviours. from the
shoes we wear to the way we style and groom our heads,
is often done to impress U.

we do enjoy just about anything u ladies do to
yourselves, as long as it's, as u put it, neat and
cute. but what's even more attractive is confidence,
and it's just something about seeing a "natural" black
woman that stirs something within the black man. not
all of us go crazy over the "beyonce's" of the world.
yeah, she's attractive, but does she stand out more
than an india? my opinion is "no", b/c the beyonce's
come a dime a dozen. and i'm only using her as an
example b/c more women seek to emulate her than they
do india.

and lastly, perhaps more women should be concerned
more with those men who DO embrace natural sistas than
those who don't. if i were a black woman, i would NOT
WANT a man who couldn't dig the "natural" me. perhaps
more sistas need to think about the guys that DO get
it, instead of focusing on those brothas who don't.

continue to be FREE!

Does anyone else feel the same or different?? Just curious.

Brunsli's Hairties

I wore the HairTie for the second time and it was very comfortable. The first time I wrapped it too tight and it made my head hurt. With the thickness of my hair all I need to do is wrap it one time and stick the stick through the hole and up she goes!! I think I got my Summer Ponytail now! Thanks Brunsli!!

Hosted on Fotki

Nia singing Can't Hide Love by Earth Wind and Fire at age 4

I was lurking in my writing group RealSistaWriters that I've been SUPER MIA in and saw the discussion about Nia. Not sure if anyone has seen this seeings how she has 274,000 hits on this one video. She declares her love at the end, which is cute. I'd say someone needs to keep up with her. She is going places.



She sings a ton more and her dad/mom has em' all on YouTube. Rick James, Alicia Keys, Billie Holiday, and more! Check it out!