Saturday, March 29, 2008

Watch out for Crazies, including yourself

As I peruse through blogs (mostly on the LHBE) when I want a little down time reading between grading papers or planning lessons, I find that I must "re-post" a portion of my bloggin' help to my fellow blog family on line community.
Now I'm not trying to tell anyone how to run their blog... But good advice and feedback can be healthy. Case in point... I don't know about you, but if a dentist tells me to floss regularly
Gently guide floss between the teethbecause it is as important as brushing your teeth, he/she means it. It may not make a lick of sense, even to grown folks, but it's advice that should be taken. This portion below, IMHO should be taken as well:

Watch out for Crazies, including yourself.
Unfortunately there will be some bloggers new to the scene who visit other's blogs just to start confusion. I've seen it before and thankfully have experienced it rarely in my blogs. They probably didn't read this blog post nor researched on-line about how to conduct yourself as a blogger who has blog nettiquite.

If you stumble upon a blog that you don't like, do yourself a favor and #1 DO NOT comment on what you don't like, and #2 NEVER visit that blog again.

For the most part, the bloggers won't know how you feel, and it's best to just keep it to yourself. Don't go visiting someone's blog to "check" them. Leave them alone. There have been some ugly "cyber cat fights" on line and it's just a shame and a hot mess. If you are a rabble rouser in public, then I'm sure you're gonna start mess on line. Some folks just like drama and have no problem seeking on line. Go back and look at your blog, and if it has more of a negative, complaining, antagonistic spirit about it, you must know that "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth (blog) speaks". So watch out for Crazies, including yourself.

My personal suggestion is, if you have a post that may be incendiary, which most of you know what views are highly sensitive to others in our community, make a disclaimer in the post that if one doesn't agree, then push on, which I've seen and adhered to myself on many occasions. If you have a post that has gotten out of control with feedback, especially if it is unwanted, cease and desist. Draft that blog post and get back to enjoying posting and receiving healthy comments in your blog. As a matter of fact, I'll draft this post after some dust settles down, which is my prayer.

Much love and blessings...


S0uthernGirl said...

Well said Maryee. And just to add my $.02, if you do get a bit heated about a posting/comment and you just can't find it in you to move on... read over what you wrote and make sure that it does not contain any personal or character attacks before publishing it. Address the issue in a tastelful manner and keep it moving.

Going back into lurk mode now lol.

QueenLi said...

I could never understand the "POWER" of the net/computer...
I mean, more than likely, you will never meet/know the person whose blog/website you don't even like, so... IMO, why waste time with arguments? It is crazy! {I know because I was once there several yrs. ago when the net groups/chats was "New" to me} Now, I'm like, "Step Away from the Computer!" {repeat} It ain't worth it!
I hope you have a wonderful week! My seasonal-blog updates will be this April... {maybe a few pics too!}

Take Care~ ;)

muslimahlocs said...

i came across a blog recently that i will never visit again. and no, i did not leave a comment. the energy was so NEGATIVE that i just had to slip away with my positivity in tact. creepy...

more importantly, post some pics of the gathering.

MEE said...


Thanks for your $.02. Well shared. There's always something you will learn about yourself when dealing with "strangers" on-line. And we think we're learning about others. It's always about us. In some cases you get to see how well/poorly you manage conflict.

I'm always working at diplomacy.

It's just soooo easy to "go off" on someone on line. But we forget that that person has the choice/power to respond in whatever way they want. That's where we get into trouble. We have to learn how to as it's been shared before, "choose your battles".

Sometimes, folks are just having a bad day or Aunt Florine might be in town. We women are unique and we must remember that and be willing to pull away and let stuff drop to the ground and die. Thanks for sharing.


That's funny! Yeah, I got a taste of a good ole' cyber cat fight back in 03' after I joined an online writing group. It was my first lesson in "reading the archives/old posts". Had I done that, I probably wouldn't have joined or better yet, got out when I saw some stuff I was more than uncomfortable with. The women were free to share their writing, but when your genre is hard core porn, uh hmm, no thank you! It was more than a hot mess, to say the least.

That's when we as women have to put on some "big girl" shoes and do as you said, "Step away from the computer". Thanks for sharing and look forward to seeing your seasonal updates.


Believe or not, I keep hope alive and occasionally revisit a few "no-no" blogs hoping that the content/character would change, but honey, folks are who they are and only God can change that. So we make choices that are healthy and best for us and keep on moving. And sorry, I was unable to attend the gathering. Jen and I both missed it. Take care and hope all is well in California.


Salt-n-Pepper Diva said...

Great advice Maryee.

Cyber cat fights are really not necessary. So I stick to the blogs that have a positive message, are generally a fun read and where I may learn a thing or two!

Happy, Nappy, & Free To Be Me said...

Hey Maryee - Your advice is well appreciated and right on time as I recently had a controversial post that turned into a cat fight. In retrospect I should have just deleted the inflammatory post and moved on instead of engaging the negative comments but I let emotion take control.

I think it is always beneficial to have constructive discussion and I'm surely not opposed to people leaving comments on my blog that share differing opinions. I think that's what makes the blogs interesting, but you're right there is definitely a way to go about it.

You're a gem and thanks again for the advice.

blackrussian said...

The title of this post alone made my laugh and then shake my head. 'Cause you know most of the crazies won't know this post is for/about them!

It's good advice all the same tho'

The simple rule: If you can't say something nice...

Works in any situation, right?

I seemed to have avoided the cat fights, not that I feel like I missed anything. I don't know what incidents you're referring to, but I think you should keep this post.

People need to know. Sometimes we do need to speak even when we feel like the right ones won't hear us.

sunsail said...

Ooooooh, cat fight!!!

I'm not one to rouse the rabble, but I DO enjoy being a lurker to some sh!t-flinging across the room every now and again! lol!

Thankfully, i've been warned where the hotspots are so i avoid all the drama... but if I come across it, it's like a train-wreck: I can't look away...

Naturally Sophia said...

Good Post!

Maryee said...


Thanks for your comment. I guess I'm not a Jerry Springer kind of gal, so cyber cat fats don't really draw me in.


I have said it before, you will learn so much more than about your hair when you start blogging. Everything, good or bad is always a learning experience. Thanks for sharing.

Maryee said...


I have such a love for the sistas and it saddens me when we "all can't just get along". I'll keep it up probably throughout the summer at least, cause I know I get a lot of requests for the LHBE during that time. Thanks for sharing and stoppin' by.


Girl, you are crazy! Yes, it true, it's always interesting to watch a good ole' cat fight from time to time, but when it turns into all out war and drags on and on like the war we're in overseas, it gets to be a bit much!! I'll admit too, train wrecks are hard to ignore. LOL! Thanks for droppin' by!!!

Naturally Sophia,

Thanks! The online locked hair family is growing by the day and every once in a while we need some shirt tail pulling. Take care and thanks for droppin' by!!!!

cheleski68 said...

SPEAKING of blog issues, i changed my address. i dont know about reposting on the exchange though...just wanted you to have it. thanks for your support!

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