My Two-Year Anniversary is Today!

Here's one of the latest pictures taken of me 11/27/05. I'm not quite finished retightening my hair, but it will do as far as letting folks see my growth. Today is my two-year anniversary of having Sisterlocks. It is so hard to believe I have come this far in my journey. I have so many wonderful people to thank in the Lockitup and Brothers_locked yahoo groups along with the beautiful blogs and on-line photo journals of those willing to share freely their locking journey and experiences. Being locked at the young age of 35 (smile) is such a liberating experience, especially since I had so many years of haircare drama in my life. Being natural and especially being locked for me, has taken a great amount of fortitude, in which I've found out how much I can bare throughout this entire journey. Some have given up and thrown in the towel, others have given up, but then picked themselves back up again for another round, and yet others have persevered all the way through.

Although this journey hasn't been a bed a roses, I must say, I am extremely happy with my decision to get locked. The light I have to share only beams brighter when I enter a room with my big blossomy smile and my two-toned locked hair. I'm thankful to "represent". Well, until I post more pictures and stories, keep it locked and keep it real!

My Fotki online photo album.

Jen and Maryee at Jazz Presentation

Richard Thomas Jazz Quartet at the Jubilee Center, Waco, Texas

Here's a picture taken 10/29/05 of my sister Jen and me. No, we're not twins. She's 13 months older than I am. I will be celebrating my two year anniversary with my Sisterlocks 11/28/05 and Jen the second week in December. Boy does time fly when you are having fun. I love my Sisterlocks and only wish I would have made this transition many, many years ago!

Pictures from the DFW Gathering

What a wonderful time we had in Dallas on my birthday October 9th! Isn't this just a lovely group of Divas??? Click on the picture for a larger view. We all took pictures, pictures, pictures!!!

We'll be meeting up again to celebrate Blaqkofi's Birthday on the 4th of December! I will be reading some of my poetry and hopefully Jen will be playing her guitar. We shall have a barrel of fun!

What a woman's hair says about her

Since I have a blog pretty much devoted to Sisterlocks, I decided to go back into the archives of our on-line yahoo group, lockitup and pull all my "essays" out and put em' in my blog. I figure if I'm gonna write a book one day, I might as well keep all my research and info in one place. So, with that being said, my first "essay" will be in response to lockitup group member Zorah's forward of an article that discusses what a woman's hair says about her. The article is below and my response is after it.

This article was found on Bet.com
By Celeste Dawn Mitchell, BET.com Staff Writer
Can you tell anything about a woman’s lifestyle,musical tastes or sexual orientation from herhairstyle? It might sound crazy but men often decide if a woman is their type based on her hair.Kittrina, a 20-year-old college student, has noticed an uptick in the number of men with locs who approach her since switching from chemically relaxed hair to locs eight months ago. “Men with dreadlocks like females who are into the natural look like them,” she says.Marissa, 29, with her super-long, relaxed hair attracts athletic and “everyday” guys. Not one artsy bohemian or brotha with locs in sight.During the three years that I wore locs, the only men who looked my way were men with locs themselves. But now that my locs are history and I’m a curly girl, men of all stripes are approaching me. My locs, I’m convinced, spoke volumes on my behalf. “She doesn’t shave,” my hair seemed to say. “She doesn’t eat meat. She smokes ganja, grows her own fruit and she only wants righteous brothas who praise Jah.” But none of these things were true. Okay, I don’t eat red meat, but I started that practice back in college—and my hair was relaxed at the time! Just to prove that I'm not imagining such preconceived notions, I asked some guys their initial impressions of a woman with locs. They responded with “conscious,”“organic,” “feminist,” “laid-back,” “Rasta,”“vegetarian” and “homeless.”When asked about relaxed hairstyles, these same men described women with those styles as “the norm,”“normal” and “everyday.”And, finally, when asked about close-cropped natural hair, they described women sporting these styles as “smart,” “afrocentric,” “lesbian,” “butch,”“rebellious” and “comfortable with themselves.”

Ladies, think about what your hair is saying. I am not suggesting that you should change your hair to land a man but, if you suspect that your hair is limiting your dating options, get proactive. You might want to offer some encouragement to men who may be writing you off, or writing themselves off, based on your do. Try making extra eye contact or making the first move and initiating a conversation. Men, relax those snap judgments and remember that often a hair style is just a style. As India Arie sang at a recent concert Washington, D.C. concert, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations.”Get to know the woman inside.----------What do you think?

BET.comer mrmack says, "I personally like the relaxed hair on women. Straight, curly, braids are all fine with me. But I personally don't like locks on a female. It just looks like a women puts more time into herself, if she goes and gets her hair done at a beauty shop. Not trying to diss anyone, but those are the only type of women I approach."BET.comer SDBryant says, "Oh my gosh I agree! When I'm wearing my hair in a neat afro or natural two strandtwist I go nearly unnoticed...yet on the other hand,when I have my hair in long, tiny braids, the attention is almost irritating. I find it rather ironic and men somewhat shallow."

Here goes...

posted on Lockitup Mon Aug 15, 2005
Thanks Zorah for forwarding this article.

OK, here's my thoughts on the matter... (this is a lil' long)

Although I was HAPPY to get my hair done in whatever state it was,braids, cut, ponytail, perm, or whatever, it never concerned me as to how I would be perceived. All I wanted was something done to this wig. It really did not matter what anyone thought when I decided to get Sisterlocks as far as that is concerned. I just wanted the haircare drama to stop. I already knew I was under opposition being from Texas and the backwards (slave) mentality of many friends, families, and foes I was going to possibly come up against. It is funny because when I wore "human hair" weaves, ponytails and the like that looked NOTHING like my hair or me, it was "great" to everyone. I even thought so myself. It was sort of like assimilation. I guess if I was honest with myself at that time, I probably felt more "accepted" and like "them". Deep, but real.

The million dollar questions should have been, "Do I 'accept' me and exactly 'who' is this them I am trying to be like?" I was living in Sacramento, California only four months in 2000 when I first got two-strand twists. The natural hair lady in town, Akilah, did Sisterlocks and that's when I was first introduced to this way of locking your hair. I am one for researching, so it was some time after that, when I found out about Pat Hunley's website when she was early in her journey. Thank God for her, because I was able to read about the pains and struggles I would possibly have to endure. I sat and watched Akilah retighten a client's hair while waiting for my appointment. It was so intimidating to me, yet intriguing. I saw how at peace the ladies who had naturals and Sisterlocks were. They were so excited. They were older ladies but seemed so youthful and content. I noticed even the younger men and women in the shop who had natural styles and they seemed so suave and regal. I was like, "I want that kind of peace with my hair. What do I have to do to get it?"

After she told me it would be like $500 to get the locks put in, my financial spirit was crushed. I'd just gone from paying $436 a month for my condo mortgage in Houston to $850 for my townhouse in Sac. I was trying to get straight in my head the $30 an hour fee for two-strandtwists, so this was all new to me. Nevertheless, I was still determined to make some kind of transition and get into "save money" gear. I wanted Sisterlocks. My hair was damaged pretty badly and the sweet loctician trimmed the bad parts as best she could after two-strand twisting em'. I thought it was cute. My hair was silky looking and feeling. Something I never knew my own hair could feel like. It was weird,but exciting.

However, I felt different. Exposed. This was MY REAL HAIR. My head did feel a little naked, cause I'd spent so many years with extra "somebody's" hair braided, weaved, crocheted into my hair. I had to embrace it. It was like having a baby for the first time. You are excited about this new addition to your life, and but in a lot of ways you just do not know what to do. You have this "creation" that is to be loved and cared for, but you do not want to harm or hurt it. You just want to do the best you can to take care of it. You also have to "get used" to it. That is where I was. It was easy for a week strutting around Sacramento with my new "look", but I then had to head South and go home. I don't care what people say, there are ALOT of backwards thinking folks in Texas. I know, cause I was one of them.

Thinking back, that was pretty scary and hard at the same time. That was when fear and insecurities set in. The flight from California to Texas was one long agonizing trip. I wasn't sure if I was prepared for the negative feedback. I did, however, anticipate it. I knew it was coming. Folks were used to seeing me in braids and of course someone else's hair in my head. I was use to that, too. I'd worn them more on than off, for ten years.

The first stop was Houston and then to Waco. From the lack of feedback, if any and my assessment, I would guess no one back home liked it and there was this sense of "silence" when folks saw my hair for the first time. I mean, loooonnnnng uncomfortable pregnant pauses. They talked to me while looking "up side" my head. Did I like that feeling? "NO!" Did I have to endure it? "Yes".

For some reason I saw beyond that pain. I wanted Sisterlocks, and if I could not handle how folks felt about my two-strand twists, I was surely in more of a battle when I was going to decide on something more permanent. My sister had traditional locks for over 10 years and I never cared to ask about nor questioned her about her plight. I just knew she never complained or had any trouble.

I had to convince myself that going completely natural was good, I looked good, and I was making the best decision for me. I had to CONVINCE myself. It was very "heady". You know your mind playin' tricks on you. So, although it took almost three years to get to Sisterlocks (11-28-03), I'd say at this point, if I "repelled" any man from approaching me, that was fine. He was just screaming to me that he had hang-ups and insecurities he himself was going to have to face and work through on his own. Why should I bother with that? Most men have been attracted to me, no matter how my hair has looked. I don't know about the others who may have passed me by, but I am sure there were some.

So now, I am back home in Central Texas with my 21 month old Sisterlocks and thankfully anyone whom I run into who has Dreadlocks, Sisterlocks, Naturals, TWAs and the like all seem to be "movers and shakers", which is what I am used to seeing and being around. They "represent" well and of course it makes the transition easy for my sister and me since we're both locked.

There are not many natural hair wearers in Waco, but that is to be expected. This town lives and breathes for perms and braids and weaves and anything that's fake. I know because I lived that existence right here in my hometown for years. The best part about it, is that when folks meet me since returning home is, they are not only inspired, but are motivated to take a deeper look at their own natural beauty. Start questioning their motives about how they view themselves. I also offer an opportunity to teach and educate, which dispels myths and untruths about folks with natural hair and locked hair. I am extremely happy about that.

Nothing has stopped men from approaching me and I get compliments from white men as well. I have had from thugs to white-collar brothers to doctors trying to get to "know me better". As far as the brothers are concerned, as I said, I'd rather be single and free from some insecure man than be needy and willing to take whomever for whatever reason. I'm just not that desperate. If my Sisterlocks repel the deadbeat dudes, then Hip Hip Hoorah!!!

I have plenty of othergifts, talents, abilities, and greater things to bring to the table that automatically make men least likely to approach me if they are shallow, intimated and insecure. Unfortunately and fortunately at the same time that is how it is going to be. For now, I live, I laugh, and I love life as it is being presented to me. When the right one comes around, he will find me. Until then, I will keep gleaning.

Black women and natural beauty article.

Blogspot Beginning

Today is the day I actually started blogging on blogspot. All previous posts were added on to document my journey. This blog is specifically to share my Sisterlock journey as well as share in past "hair care" drama from the past. There will be lots of pictures and stories behind them all. I hope all who read and view enjoy.

Maryee

Have you visited Maryee's Place Lately?

Updo Pictures and post

August 7th post:

I finally have some pictures to share of my locks after I retightened em', bantu'd em' and updo'd em'. Hope you like them. This was fun! I always envisioned my hair in an updo or french roll when I get married (ok, I am not even in a relationship). But nonetheless, I knew how cute it would look with the hair ringling down the sides of my face and my hair wrapped up in the back. Well, with the help of my mom, we gave it a shot. For those of you who don't know, I got my hair dyed two days before I got my hair Sisterlocked. So all the darker hair is new growth since 11-28-03. Let me know what you think!

Blaqkofi says...

Beautiful locks, Maryee. It looks like you did an excellent job with
your first retightening. The bantu knots and updo are beautiful. Your
pics gives me more of an idea what my hair will look like at 20
months. I also colored my hair right before I got my locks.
Thanks for sharing.

BlaqKofi
SL'd 8wks

Leighann says...

Mary, Your locks look beautiful! The bantu knots are such a great set. It looks wonderful. And that up do... NICE! very elegant. Now we just gotta get you down the aisle so we can show it off even more! :-)

Leighann sld 4 years 1m 8d
www.mysisterlocks.blogspot.com

Maryee says...

Leighann,

Thanks for the kind compliments! I love heading over to your
blogspot and website just for inspiration and a smile! My sister
was like, "You want your hair long like Leighann's huh?" I was
like, "yep!". When I had braids if it wasn't in a bob it was in a
ponytail. I like the the longer length and can't wait to have it
all be mine and not store bought.

Now, about this husband, please send him to my website
http://www.maryee.com first, so he can be clear of what I'm all about! :-)
If he's up for the challenge, he'll know what to do. :-)
I already know that when the BIG day comes, my future husband will be
mesmerized by his glowing bride! The best is yet to come!

Blessings,

Maryee
Sisterlocked 20 months

TWA transition-Can you hold out?

Posted in lockitup:


I am trying to be patient, but I hate the way this TWA looks and I have begun to feel so incredibly self-conscious. I know this may all sound silly and to some of you rather trivial, but it is a big deal to me and I could really use some inspiration.

M.

M,

I remember when I was going through my transition, I kept patting my
twa down, kind of compacting it because I was not going to cut it
any more. It was indeed a weird feeling but I was not turning
back. Like someone else said, wearing braids temporarily will help
manager the transition.

Here's some suggested links for you to check out. Hang in there
lady!!!

http://www.treasuredlocks.com/natural-hair-transition.html
Motown Girl's Transitioning Tips
http://www.napturalglory.com/thejourney4.html


Maryee
Sisterlocked 20 months
Have you visited Maryee's Place lately?
http://www.maryee.com

Feel like someone's watching you?

posted in lockitup:

I guess since I'm now responsible for retightening my own hair, I
have moved to another level of closeness, ownership and
accountability with my locks. These different stages are something
else.

I remember last summer, I was in Houston at the Dollar General
store. I was standing in line waiting to check out and there was
this young lady standing not far from me soon to check out as well.
I recognized her hair to be completely weaved with straight human
hair. She was a cute girl, but hey, we never know what's going on
in the inside of folks when only looking at the surface. I guess
she saw me and then for some reason she forced herself, it seemed
not to make eye contact with me. I could tell by her body language
that she was uncomfortable and made it her business to look away.
It was the weirdest thing to observe. Maybe, perhaps, she had
a "moment" of conviction or "guilt". She saw that only when masked
with something that wasn't truly her, could she possibly win the
affections and compliments from others.

I know I've been there, knowing good and well I would be receiving
what I humbly consider, "false" compliments. I'd even joke when
folks would compliment me about my braided or weaved hair by
saying "IBM," meaning "I Bought Mine". So we love and honor and
have compassion for everyone because we all are at different stages
of growth in this journey called "life". Old habits are hard to
break, but they are breakable!

The sooner we get back to truth, the faster we get on to freedom.

Dreaded Word-Nap Politics in the Church

"spottedcatwomen"wrote:
I went to church today with my Sisterlocks wild and free. I was so
proud of myself for making it to church. During the service the
preacher mentioned the importance of ones appearance. He said," Why
would you look for a job with dreadlocks, sagging pants...etc" The
back of my neck became hot...LOL.

Is anyone else considering keeping their SLs above their shoulders?


Hey Eve,

I want mine to grow at this point just to see how long they can get.
I've always had short hair for whatever reason. When I had my hair
braided, I loved putting it up in a ponytail and getting it out of my
face. I look forward to doing the same thing with my OWN hair and not
any I bought from the Asian Beauty Supply shop.

As far as looking for a job in "dredlocks", the pastor probably still
needs some educating. You can have a perm and still show up looking
inappropriate for anyone to hire. The last job I was on, I worked for
an international management consulting firm. My locks had no negative
impact on me doing business with presidents and owners of companies.
All they saw was a very confident and professional looking sister
sitting down doing business with them. I could tell in how they
treated me with much respect and professionalism.

There are benefits in having Sisterlocks. Our attitude reflects our
beauty, our confidence exudes our self-assuredness, our pep in our
step with our head held high, truly reveals our pride. So, I'm
thankful that I have my Sisterlocks and hope that we all present that
peace, love and joy that we get from the true freedom from bondage.
If we don't look and act free, why would anyone want what we have?
Me, I'm a be free!!! Thanks for sharing!

Maryee
SL'd almost 20 months

http://www.maryee.com

Mother's Day 2005 pics

Here's a picture of me and my mom on Mother's Day 2005. I still hadn't had a retightening since mid-March, so it was puffy. I made me some bangs so it was a style I normally didn't submit to. My hair length for 18 months wasn't too bad. I don't mind my forehead showing with my hairstyles, but this was a different look. I love that red outfit.

Hey Are Those Sisterlocks?

Posted in Lockitup: 29995

Since my sister and I have relocated to the big city of WACO, we
anticipated having trouble with folks even understanding our hair.
Most of the folks just look and don't ask questions. But you can
see the curiosity in their eyes. We drove by a place called "Nappy
Roots" and just knew they specialized in natural hair. Well we go
in and there's this young guy cutting this 12 yr old boy's hair with
some chairs lined up (for folks waiting) and that was about it. He
was excited to see us, but admitted flatly that he couldn't help
us. He'd never even heard of Sisterlocks, so we allowed him to
examine our hair (touch it and all). He bout' came unglued when we
told him how much it cost as far as certification was concerned and
then what it cost us to get our hair locked and retightened. He
couldn't even imagine the potential expense. He thought it was
temporary until we told him it was permanent unless we cut it off.
He then understood a lil' better after that.

He then kindly called another lady up, who came to town from Seattle
Washington who we then went to go see. Her place was called A Head
of Time. She's not certified but does deal in natural hair. My
sister Jen wants to get a good shampoo because we don't have good
water pressure where we live. So we'll have to make a trip to
Dallas to see Elaine, when I get that scheduled. We have gotten
compliments, but folks really don't know what to say or think. I
say, Gurl, these are wonderful!! You should get cha some!

Thin Crown

Post from lockitup:

Maryee,

Thanks your photos helps me feel more patient toward this process. I was so
discouraged when I got up and looked in the mirror and saw a thinning lock. It
was depressing especially after slowly getting over the picked hen look. My hair
is about the length you had in picture 17 and almost as spacey.

Thanks again

Bella

"Maryee" wrote:
Congrats! You will be pleased. I had/have thinning hair on top from
14 years of braids on and off and perms and the whole nine. Although
I still have the "thin" spot on top, my entire Sisterlock look over
compensates for the thinness. It's a doggone shame cause I can get up
and leave out the house and never even look in the mirror to "check"
to make sure my hair is in place. The stage it is in (17 months)
allows me to pretty much shake my hair or run my fingers through it
and be out the door. Such liberation!

Month 14

Check out that new growth.