Now this is what I'm talkin' 'bout - The Truth, London Style

Tell it Chi!


510

Parody or Reality? Too Many Weave Video

I received in my inbox my I-magazine subscription from Mia Press's Going Natural.
What caught my attention was the interview with Jason Lewis, a comedian out of the UK who created a parody from another UK artist's song, Too Many Man.
When you watch the video, you'll see he says he was really playing at the end about the whole "Too Many Weave" complaint. My question is, is this a true parody or are men starting to feel the overpowering effect of "too many weaves"?

When you take a look at Chris Rock's documentary called Good Hair, you'll see women profess to the "Creamy Crack" as well as view discourse about how men "can't" touch a woman's weave.From movie stars, to high power executives to simply women who get their "check" once a month, weave is in. And I must question, are men starting to feel the constraints or boundaries for the price they pay for beauty they will accept? I do remember my "weave" days, although short lived and remember how my biggest concern was, "Can anyone see my tracks" or the noticeable difference in my and the weave's hair texture. But nowadays, women of all colors are increasingly drawn to many things that are not natural, but in their eyes "beautiful". Begin to observe children, tweens, and teens of all colors longing to have "Hanah Montana hair".

It's more than a notion, the HM phenomena. Do you actually think the industry is going to stop and say, "Hey, let's not promote wigs, weaves and extensions. It might damage these children's self esteem, self concept and self acceptance." They are saying, "Wow, what an easy way to have customers for life starting as young as 4 yrs old!" At the end of the day, HM, her dad, Disney and every endorser will be stacking their dollars after they've pimped out millions of folks who can't rub two nickels together for their own daughter's education. Just something to think about. Thank God for those who are writing/blogging about the truth. It is the only thing that will indeed set you free. But hey, we all gotta defend something. Let's just hope it's the right thing. I've blogged about this topic before.

You can view the rest of Tyra's show on Good vs Bad Hair on this youtube channel.

Barack Obama

I get such a good feeling inside whenever I hear this man speak or see how he handles himself in public. When I think of Barack Obama, I think of the word resilient. As most folks who've been a little disconnected and disenchanted with politics over the years, I too have been rejuvenated by history in the making. I have to check in on "the three" every night on-line before I hit the sack. April 22th should prove to be quite interesting to say the least. For those who will, please pray for our nation and our presidential candidates.

Articles and news about Obama:
Frank Schaeffer's article about Pastor Jeremiah Wright & Christians
Blacks for Barack
AOL-Black Voices- Election Blogs

Turning the Titanic Around- Black Hair Care

Since teaching at a school with such a high concentration of black students, I'll be doing some research over the holidays to find websites and videos to share information about black hair, hair care, natural vs. relaxed, and the industry for my kids, especially the girls to check out.

We have a lot of store front Asian owned hair supply stores in Waco as most small and large cities do as long as there is a decent population of blacks to fork over their hard earned money to. And yes as the videos below display the community in which these stores serve are often poor, depressed and economically disadvantaged.

I know when I was a hair care junkie, whenever I went into, and still if I did today, the beauty supply shops, there was a low interest from the staff in giving me products to help my hair, but instead a high interest in them selling me whatever. I will say that when I lived in Houston, my favorite hair supply store which was in the Hobby area on 8326 Broadway St., was owned by an African gentleman. ANAN Beauty Supply. He was wonderful and extremely helpful and honest about making suggestions for my haircare needs. He had lots of supplies and hair, so I'm thinking he had no problem getting product from the distributors. The videos below are from a few I searched and found this morning on youtube. Thank you Karen Halliburton, for sharing your website as well. Very informative.



And so BOBSA was formed.











The struggle in London as well.



Nappy Roots Documentary




Some of my girls are so "fogged" in their self perception, it's nothing for them to walk up and down the hallways with their hair alllll over their head. They are getting better about not walking around with a comb stuck in their hair. I will tell them in a second that that's "Ghetto". I tell them, "You are a princess" and ask them to kindly remove the comb from their hair. If I can just get them to become "aware" that they can be seen and that they are not isolated. So in one way they are image conscious, and in another way, they aren't.

It's weird because one of the boys was commenting in a very direct manner to one of the girls in class about how her hair was breaking off and that she was becoming bald headed. He told her to "do something" with her hair. The sad part about it was, he was telling the truth. The sadder part about it was, she was trying to do something about it. She is one of mine who has the comb in her hair daily, yet her hair is all over her head. I saw how helpless you looked trying to defend herself, rebutting to him that she was gonna get a perm. My heart sank.

The kids look at my locks and some admire them, but have no clue or idea of how they can get to the place I am in. Jen and I discussed investing in one young lady who's a good braider and getting her trained in SLs and have her help the revolution begin here in Waco. I really believe if they knew what to do, they would do it. I know these girls are tired of damaging their hair at their young tender ages already, but do not know how to get out of this trap. Until then, they will just do what they see in the videos, in the magazines, and among each other, all the while for those who can't take care if it, will continue ruining their hair. My question to the online natural hair community is how do we become an agent for change? Do we just complain about what we see, or do we do something about it?

Sheriff Strain's views on Trash coming into St. Tammany Parish

Dreadlocks and Che-wee hairstyles, right?

hmmm? Looks like most of the folks they are looking for don't fit this description.

http://www.stpso.org/mostwanted.php?start=0

More on the subject by Jersey Goddess.

Family, Friends, and Foes-Natural Hair Woes

The following is a reply to some concerns one of my friends on Lockitup
was experiences concerning friends and family and her locks.
The exchange is below:

Subject: Re: I need your opinion....(Crickett)

I'll respond in between your lines...This is long, but worth the
read.

Maryee

Crickett wrote:

----Now my locs are between 4-5 inches long and I had the
twisted up in an updo.----

You mess around and get some length, that talking starts to
simmer down and those who were complaining start looking
more closely, inquiring more, and the butter starts to melt. At
this point, she's trapped by her opinion and pride will keep
her bound from submitting to the truth of how lovely your
locks are.

----She asked me how long was I going to let my hair stay
like this and I let her know until God takes me away.----

Good one. I came from a sales background and one of the top
skills reps need to have is the ability to overcome the objection
before it is given. As locked natural hair wearers, we have to
have our information ready to discuss, positively, intelligently,
and passionately before the ignorant and uninformed start
spewing their unknown knowledge about something they know
nothing about. When we handle ourselves "civilly", with clarity
and accurate information, that is better than acting out. Doing
that only makes us look just as foolish as them. I like your quote
and I'll have to put that in my back pocket for future use.

----She said that this just was not one of the hair do's that she
liked and she has not seen anyone with this type of hairstyle that
would make her say she would want to have her hair this way. I
told her I loved my locs and this was the best thing I could have
done to my hair. I told her I didn't loc my hair for her to like
or anyone else. As long as I was happy, that is what made the
difference. I told her she liked her curl, and as long as she
liked it, it didn't make me any difference how she wore her hair.----

A lot of time folks are defensive because our freedom to be real
amplifies their struggle to be fake. It puts them in an
uncomfortable place. Defense mechanisms kick in and they work from
the premise and limited knowledge they have. God bless their
souls. I've been there before.

----When she realized she could not intimidate me or make me feel
ashamed of my hairstyle, she left well enough alone. I told her I
have pretty natural hair, whether it is locked or loose, and I just
choose to have it locked. She is the only person that I have come
across that has this attitude towards my locs because she doesn't
like them. She said she didn't understand why anyone would want
their hair like this. I told her, that is it, you don't
understand. It is not that she doesn't like natural hair, it is
strictly the locs. LOL My aunt has been natural before, but she
just didn't know what to do with it and so she went back to the
chemicals. ----

There is always a root to anyone who bars bitterness or disdain for
a way of thinking, looking, or acting. I saw the most bizarre thing
at church on Sunday. There was this elderly lady (around early 70s
I believe) who sat in the pew in front of me. In front of her was
the associate minister, his wife and their 9 year old daughter. The
daughter had her hair corn rowed back with hair added to touch about
3 inches past her shoulders. The elderly lady reached in front of
her and began running her fingers through the girl's loose braids
and sort of "straightening" out the top and tossed the ends back
over her shoulder, examined them some more and then patted them
neatly on her back and then sat back in her seat. She had on a red
outfit with a matching red hat with netting and what looked like a
short cut reddish maroon straight haired wig peeking out from under
the hat. I'd never seen the lady before and the girl never turned
and looked at her like, "Lady, can you get your hands out of my
hair!" It then occurred to me that the elderly lady seemed to be
fascinated and intrigued with the little girl's braids. I was
thinking, "Is this lady "desiring" or "admiring" this girl's hair?
Synthetic and all? Women and men can get away with that with kids
before they could with grown folks. It was such a weird scene. Did
she do that because she was curious, perhaps? Humm??

I say all this to say, for a lonnnnng time we have been conditioned
a certain way. Nappy, kinky, curly (not Jherri Curl) is ugly,
dirty, nasty and hard to deal with. Straight and permed is right,
better, easier, and beautiful. If we are all honest with ourselves,
most of us had to battle some demons running rampant in our heads
about our hair and what it says about us. We still deal with it
daily.

My 9-yr old niece is already brain washed real good. Her mother and
her mother's mother (may she rest in peace) have been telling her
all her life (since she could understand) that her hair is nappy and
that she was born with a head full of nappy hair and it can't be
combed in it's natural state, which very well may be true. That was the last thing her grandmother said to me last week before she died. "Nikki's was born
with a head full of nappy hair!" She said it right in front of the
child, I guess to allude to the fact, making it known that her "bad
hair" came from our side of the family and not hers. "Khris's hair
wasn't like that", she said speaking of her grandson by another man
other than my brother.

My niece has had enough fake hair braided, crocheted, and the like
to fill a barn. I guess I would have begged for it myself if I didn't want to had to
deal with or possibly be ridiculed perhaps at school for having "nappy hair".
Just here recently I finally saw her hair without extra hair, but she was "going to get her hair braided later that night." And you gonna tell me that wont breed a seed of self hatred for her natural hair, which she has NEVER seen because her mom started perming her hair some time after she turned two years old? My niece's mom the other day was saying, "Well everyone has their own opinion about how they wanna wear their hair", all the while digging, scratching, and
fuming because she wanted her "down her back" straight weave she got
put in a week before taken "out of her hair." It's tough, but we have to stay in the game and "represent".

Well, I'm done with my essay for the evening. Just thought I'd do
some responding to your post Crickett as I myself continue to work
out this natural hair dilemma was have upon us.

Here's a picture of my sweet niece with her bunny she got for
Christmas. She longs for long hair, and is quite aware of her "nappy" hair.

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c164/Franie811/Family/PC300001.jpg

We found out Saturday evening her granny passed away Thursday Dec.
29th. She was a heavy smoker and her heart just stopped.
Thankfully Nikki and her granny did spend earlier that day shopping,
so her last experience with her granny was pleasant. Please pray
for the family during this time of grief.

Dec 29th, 2005

Crickett,

It's funny because as I am putting all the pieces together in my
blog, I just might get to the root of the matter concerning what I
did cause I liked it or wanted it, or what I did with my hair for
all the other various reasons. I remember wanting weave so I could
finally have some hair to throw around like my friends in
cheerleading in high school. Deep huh? Or perhaps the earliest
brainwashing came from good ole' Tuesday Taylor? All you Barbie
fans from back in the day know who she is.

I will tell you that I have had hair problems personally since I was
about 5 years old according to what I remember suffering under
myself. Follow my blog and you'll read some of the crazy things I
experienced. Once I find all the pictures and upload em' with
stories to accompany them, it will all make sense. Thanks for
sharing!

Maryee


Hey Maryee,

Thanks, but you know before I loced, I was the crochet, weave
and braid queen. I've received those comments from some
individuals about the weave. You know, "why you putting that stuff
in your hair." And my response "cause I like it." (lol) So I
was fortunate that my hairstyles regardless to what they, didn't
come from peer pressure, family traditions, etc. Plus I have
always been a hair person, so I was always doing something to my
head. But locing was the best thing I have ever done.

Crickett

Bun for Destini Berry

OK, I know I'm like a long ways away from having a "real" bun, but I wanted to at least give it a shot in honor of Destini Berry today! I know it's cheezy, but what the hay! I wish Destini all the best in her journey in the world of ballet.

Poem/song for Destini Berry

Keep Dreaming
Written by Maryee
7-5-04


Whatever dream You've given me
I won't keep it inside
No matter how scared I may be
I won't go run and hide
And if this dream really is
what it's meant to be

I'll do all that I can
to make it a reality
(to fulfill my destiny)

I’ll keep writing
I’ll keep singing
I’ll keep running
I’ll keep winning
I’ll keep playing
I’ll keep dancing
I’ll keep dreaming

What a woman's hair says about her

Since I have a blog pretty much devoted to Sisterlocks, I decided to go back into the archives of our on-line yahoo group, lockitup and pull all my "essays" out and put em' in my blog. I figure if I'm gonna write a book one day, I might as well keep all my research and info in one place. So, with that being said, my first "essay" will be in response to lockitup group member Zorah's forward of an article that discusses what a woman's hair says about her. The article is below and my response is after it.

This article was found on Bet.com
By Celeste Dawn Mitchell, BET.com Staff Writer
Can you tell anything about a woman’s lifestyle,musical tastes or sexual orientation from herhairstyle? It might sound crazy but men often decide if a woman is their type based on her hair.Kittrina, a 20-year-old college student, has noticed an uptick in the number of men with locs who approach her since switching from chemically relaxed hair to locs eight months ago. “Men with dreadlocks like females who are into the natural look like them,” she says.Marissa, 29, with her super-long, relaxed hair attracts athletic and “everyday” guys. Not one artsy bohemian or brotha with locs in sight.During the three years that I wore locs, the only men who looked my way were men with locs themselves. But now that my locs are history and I’m a curly girl, men of all stripes are approaching me. My locs, I’m convinced, spoke volumes on my behalf. “She doesn’t shave,” my hair seemed to say. “She doesn’t eat meat. She smokes ganja, grows her own fruit and she only wants righteous brothas who praise Jah.” But none of these things were true. Okay, I don’t eat red meat, but I started that practice back in college—and my hair was relaxed at the time! Just to prove that I'm not imagining such preconceived notions, I asked some guys their initial impressions of a woman with locs. They responded with “conscious,”“organic,” “feminist,” “laid-back,” “Rasta,”“vegetarian” and “homeless.”When asked about relaxed hairstyles, these same men described women with those styles as “the norm,”“normal” and “everyday.”And, finally, when asked about close-cropped natural hair, they described women sporting these styles as “smart,” “afrocentric,” “lesbian,” “butch,”“rebellious” and “comfortable with themselves.”

Ladies, think about what your hair is saying. I am not suggesting that you should change your hair to land a man but, if you suspect that your hair is limiting your dating options, get proactive. You might want to offer some encouragement to men who may be writing you off, or writing themselves off, based on your do. Try making extra eye contact or making the first move and initiating a conversation. Men, relax those snap judgments and remember that often a hair style is just a style. As India Arie sang at a recent concert Washington, D.C. concert, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations.”Get to know the woman inside.----------What do you think?

BET.comer mrmack says, "I personally like the relaxed hair on women. Straight, curly, braids are all fine with me. But I personally don't like locks on a female. It just looks like a women puts more time into herself, if she goes and gets her hair done at a beauty shop. Not trying to diss anyone, but those are the only type of women I approach."BET.comer SDBryant says, "Oh my gosh I agree! When I'm wearing my hair in a neat afro or natural two strandtwist I go nearly unnoticed...yet on the other hand,when I have my hair in long, tiny braids, the attention is almost irritating. I find it rather ironic and men somewhat shallow."

Here goes...

posted on Lockitup Mon Aug 15, 2005
Thanks Zorah for forwarding this article.

OK, here's my thoughts on the matter... (this is a lil' long)

Although I was HAPPY to get my hair done in whatever state it was,braids, cut, ponytail, perm, or whatever, it never concerned me as to how I would be perceived. All I wanted was something done to this wig. It really did not matter what anyone thought when I decided to get Sisterlocks as far as that is concerned. I just wanted the haircare drama to stop. I already knew I was under opposition being from Texas and the backwards (slave) mentality of many friends, families, and foes I was going to possibly come up against. It is funny because when I wore "human hair" weaves, ponytails and the like that looked NOTHING like my hair or me, it was "great" to everyone. I even thought so myself. It was sort of like assimilation. I guess if I was honest with myself at that time, I probably felt more "accepted" and like "them". Deep, but real.

The million dollar questions should have been, "Do I 'accept' me and exactly 'who' is this them I am trying to be like?" I was living in Sacramento, California only four months in 2000 when I first got two-strand twists. The natural hair lady in town, Akilah, did Sisterlocks and that's when I was first introduced to this way of locking your hair. I am one for researching, so it was some time after that, when I found out about Pat Hunley's website when she was early in her journey. Thank God for her, because I was able to read about the pains and struggles I would possibly have to endure. I sat and watched Akilah retighten a client's hair while waiting for my appointment. It was so intimidating to me, yet intriguing. I saw how at peace the ladies who had naturals and Sisterlocks were. They were so excited. They were older ladies but seemed so youthful and content. I noticed even the younger men and women in the shop who had natural styles and they seemed so suave and regal. I was like, "I want that kind of peace with my hair. What do I have to do to get it?"

After she told me it would be like $500 to get the locks put in, my financial spirit was crushed. I'd just gone from paying $436 a month for my condo mortgage in Houston to $850 for my townhouse in Sac. I was trying to get straight in my head the $30 an hour fee for two-strandtwists, so this was all new to me. Nevertheless, I was still determined to make some kind of transition and get into "save money" gear. I wanted Sisterlocks. My hair was damaged pretty badly and the sweet loctician trimmed the bad parts as best she could after two-strand twisting em'. I thought it was cute. My hair was silky looking and feeling. Something I never knew my own hair could feel like. It was weird,but exciting.

However, I felt different. Exposed. This was MY REAL HAIR. My head did feel a little naked, cause I'd spent so many years with extra "somebody's" hair braided, weaved, crocheted into my hair. I had to embrace it. It was like having a baby for the first time. You are excited about this new addition to your life, and but in a lot of ways you just do not know what to do. You have this "creation" that is to be loved and cared for, but you do not want to harm or hurt it. You just want to do the best you can to take care of it. You also have to "get used" to it. That is where I was. It was easy for a week strutting around Sacramento with my new "look", but I then had to head South and go home. I don't care what people say, there are ALOT of backwards thinking folks in Texas. I know, cause I was one of them.

Thinking back, that was pretty scary and hard at the same time. That was when fear and insecurities set in. The flight from California to Texas was one long agonizing trip. I wasn't sure if I was prepared for the negative feedback. I did, however, anticipate it. I knew it was coming. Folks were used to seeing me in braids and of course someone else's hair in my head. I was use to that, too. I'd worn them more on than off, for ten years.

The first stop was Houston and then to Waco. From the lack of feedback, if any and my assessment, I would guess no one back home liked it and there was this sense of "silence" when folks saw my hair for the first time. I mean, loooonnnnng uncomfortable pregnant pauses. They talked to me while looking "up side" my head. Did I like that feeling? "NO!" Did I have to endure it? "Yes".

For some reason I saw beyond that pain. I wanted Sisterlocks, and if I could not handle how folks felt about my two-strand twists, I was surely in more of a battle when I was going to decide on something more permanent. My sister had traditional locks for over 10 years and I never cared to ask about nor questioned her about her plight. I just knew she never complained or had any trouble.

I had to convince myself that going completely natural was good, I looked good, and I was making the best decision for me. I had to CONVINCE myself. It was very "heady". You know your mind playin' tricks on you. So, although it took almost three years to get to Sisterlocks (11-28-03), I'd say at this point, if I "repelled" any man from approaching me, that was fine. He was just screaming to me that he had hang-ups and insecurities he himself was going to have to face and work through on his own. Why should I bother with that? Most men have been attracted to me, no matter how my hair has looked. I don't know about the others who may have passed me by, but I am sure there were some.

So now, I am back home in Central Texas with my 21 month old Sisterlocks and thankfully anyone whom I run into who has Dreadlocks, Sisterlocks, Naturals, TWAs and the like all seem to be "movers and shakers", which is what I am used to seeing and being around. They "represent" well and of course it makes the transition easy for my sister and me since we're both locked.

There are not many natural hair wearers in Waco, but that is to be expected. This town lives and breathes for perms and braids and weaves and anything that's fake. I know because I lived that existence right here in my hometown for years. The best part about it, is that when folks meet me since returning home is, they are not only inspired, but are motivated to take a deeper look at their own natural beauty. Start questioning their motives about how they view themselves. I also offer an opportunity to teach and educate, which dispels myths and untruths about folks with natural hair and locked hair. I am extremely happy about that.

Nothing has stopped men from approaching me and I get compliments from white men as well. I have had from thugs to white-collar brothers to doctors trying to get to "know me better". As far as the brothers are concerned, as I said, I'd rather be single and free from some insecure man than be needy and willing to take whomever for whatever reason. I'm just not that desperate. If my Sisterlocks repel the deadbeat dudes, then Hip Hip Hoorah!!!

I have plenty of othergifts, talents, abilities, and greater things to bring to the table that automatically make men least likely to approach me if they are shallow, intimated and insecure. Unfortunately and fortunately at the same time that is how it is going to be. For now, I live, I laugh, and I love life as it is being presented to me. When the right one comes around, he will find me. Until then, I will keep gleaning.

Black women and natural beauty article.

Family Ambush

Posted in Lockitup as a response to another member sharing with us about how her family ambushed her concerning her locks in a negative way. Here's my take on the matter:

Re: Family Ambush! (long)-Maryee

Michelle,

When I went home to Houston over the holidays I only had my locks in
about a month. So you know it was during the baby stage where
there's really no controlling the locks.

A close girlfriend of mine kept looking up side my head as to want
to "straighten" the "wild" pieces. She held out as long as she could
and finally blurted out, "Are you going to put that in place?"
(meaning my hair). I politely smiled at her and said, "It is in
place and exactly where it's supposed to be. They are my wild
teenagers and there's no controlling them at this point."

Not so sure my reply satisfied her need to "shape and correct" my
mini lock fro, but I guess it sufficed. All she's known in her 50
years is perm, perm, perm. She meant no harm, it was just "different"
seeing me like that up close and personal.

In Texas, it's a lil' hard in some areas where "permed" hair gives
over the allusion that you are cleaner, smarter, and prettier, and
that to have locks or natural hair means otherwise. It's like this
hidden shame.

My 74 year old aunt shouted at me back in April when I went to visit
in Houston also, "I don't like those dredlocks!" I told
her, "Auntie, this is the same hair from the picture I sent you in
the mail in January where you said I looked beautiful. These are not
Dredlocks, they are called Sisterlocks". Not so sure if trying to
explain the difference helped any or mattered one way or another
to her. She already had her opinions (deep rooted) about nappy hair.
I guess the picture didn't depict my locks and when she got a "close-up"
she decided to change her mind. The picture I'm talking about is in my
photo link with the pink background. It does look like unlocked hair in the
picture, so I guess she just assumed otherwise. She too, forgot she saw me in
December as well.

I'm too at peace to be bothered with other folks not feeling me and
my Sisterlocks. My dad hates em' on me and my sister. Oh well! My
mom just goes along with whatever my and Jen come up with. Jen had
traditional locks some years back, so this shouldn't be that much of
a surprise to family and friends. They're just sweet ole' country
folks. :-)

I'm sooo thrilled to have Sisterlocks I could just shout! God bless
America, and God bless Dr. Cornwell.

I could write (and I just may do that one day) a book on all of my
haircare dramas alone over the past 25 years and I'm only 33. It's
been just that deep. Well, just wanted to share a blurb on my family
ambush.

Still debating on heading down to San Diego on Saturday for the reunion. If so, I'll
see ya folks there. Take care!

Maryee
Sisterlocked almost 8 months! :-)

Note:
My aunt Gustine I am speaking about has since gone on to be with the Lord on 9-1-05. May she continually rest in peace.